阿婆报警记－－超强爆笑

李大嘴的嘴

<span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（一）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">
</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　从前有一个住系海边嘅阿婆，有一日佢见到两个人跳海，佢去救左其中一个人，而另一个救唔到。咁佢就打</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">999</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">报警。</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">
</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　电话一通，婆婆就问：“喂！系唔系鸠鸠鸠呀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（婆婆想问系唔系</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">999</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　个差佬就答：“乜卵野鸠鸠鸠呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆婆就话：“有人条‘</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">HIGH</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">’啊！（有人跳海）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　个差佬就讲：“人地屌‘</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">HIGH</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">’关你卵事呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆婆又话：“衣个有鸠，衣个无鸠呀！（一个有救，一个冇救）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬就答佢：“屌‘</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">HIGH</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">’当然要一个有鸠，一个冇鸠架啦</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!!!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆婆就讲：“无鸠个叫得好大声丫。”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬又答佢：“**啊嘛，嘈到你咩！阿婆，你之前食卵左乜野搞卵到你讲野憨鸠鸠呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆婆就佢回答：“我之前食左臭化西！（我之前食左炒花生）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">



</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（二）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　话说个个阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">自从上次被差佬</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">cut</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">左线之后，</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">.</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">就消声匿迹左一排；但由于佢好鬼死穷，所以就去左训天桥底啦。有一日</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">有两个男人</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">各自带自己嘅狗去散步</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">一只系外国个嘀有毛狗</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">另一只就系冇毛狗。佢地两人都来到天桥底相遇</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">其中一个男人唔小心碰跌另一个男人</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">于是佢地就嘈起交上来</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">要求对方赔个不是！佢地只狗可能等得唔耐烦</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">于是就跑走左</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">跑到好鬼远</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">最后唔见埋添</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">因此个两个男人就嘈得更加之犀利。</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　由于个阿婆系训天桥底</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">所以便觉得好烦</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">想去报警投诉勒。</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“喂，</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">呢度系咪</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">999</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">呀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（上音声）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“又系你呀阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">今次你又有咩事呀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“我呢……想投诉啊</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">有两个男人</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">向天桥底度</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">‘锄鸠’</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（嘈交）啊</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“佢地</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">‘锄鸠’</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">关你咩事呀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“佢地搞到我都训唔着啦</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">佢地‘锄锄下（嘈嘈下）’呢</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">条‘鸠（狗）’都唔见左啦”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“咩话</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">‘锄’</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">到连条“鸠“都唔见埋</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“系罗！不过呢</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">我见过佢地个两条‘久’架</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">一条就有磨（毛）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">另一条就冇磨（毛）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">架……”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“佢地有冇毛咁又关你事？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“你不如帮佢地搵番条</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">‘鸠’</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">啦……”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“我点可以帮佢地搵呀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“咁你有冇‘鸠’</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">呀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">拎两条比番人啦”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“我边有两条‘鸠’</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">咁卵把炮呀？有都唔畀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“好啦，差佬哥哥</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">你咁好人。”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“我好人</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">你觉我好好人咩</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“你好卵</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">HIGH~</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（你可能系）……”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　于是</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">个差佬又再次咁</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">cut</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">线啦。</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">



</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（三）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　上回讲到阿婆又俾个差佬</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">cut</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">线之后，就响新界度搵左块田黎耕，有日佢耕耕下田就醒起附近有个慈善机构派发衫裤绵被畀嘀老人家，而就实时走去拎啦，其实早几日个慈善机构系同嘀老人家度左尺寸先嘅。但系个阿婆就迟左成个几粒钟先到，而咁啱又有个人冒认左个阿婆去呃佢套衫。虽然个慈善机构都谂住将狄派净嘅衫裤绵被畀个阿婆，但咁佢尺寸嘅就派晒，净返嘀大码，但阿婆就等住嘀衫黎过冬，冇办法之下唯有报警求助……</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“喂？呢度系咪系鸠鸠鸠（</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">999</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“乜又系你呀阿婆？今次你又见到嘀乜呀？有人屌</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">HIGH</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">定锄鸠呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“呢度有人玩</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">3 play</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">。（呢度有人换衫被。）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“人地玩</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">3 play</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">又关你咩事呀？你想玩理一份呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“我个‘西’畀人屌左！（我个位俾人调</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">o</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">左！）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“吓，阿婆你俾人老强？边个咁慷慨呀？！真系辛苦佢喎！”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“系黐线基鸠。（系慈善机构。）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“咁个黐线嘅基佬系点架？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“屌我个「西」个个唔知去左边。（调我个位个个唔知去左边。）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“咁而家个现场环境系点架？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“而家呢度嘀人玩完</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">3 play</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">，但系嘀带套嘅有好多精，我唔想要带套个嘀，但系就冇精。（而家呢度嘀人换完衫被，但系嘀大套嘅有好多净，我唔想要大套个嘀，但系就冇净。）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“哦！阿婆你想同人打真军吓话？睇唔出阿婆你一把年几都几识享受喎！不过人地冇晒精都帮唔到你啦！“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“咁你地有毛？（咁你地有冇？）“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：我就有毛！不过我嘀师兄就唔知。不过我地有冇毛又关你咩事呀？“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“呢度冇晒套（呢度冇细套），不如你畀我呀！”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“套我就有，不过你要咩晒士呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“我要细码。”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“我得中码咋喎，咁你要唔要呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“要要要！差佬哥哥你真系好人！”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“乜我唔系好卵‘</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">HIGH</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">’咩？咁你几时黎差馆啰呀阿婆？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“我啰全条周周过来。（我落完田就走过来。）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">



</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（四）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆是穷人就个个都知</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">所以佢是住是天桥底。但是经济差了很多</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">就多左人住桥底。今日又来了两个新住客</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">一个是自闭的</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">另一个就好暴粗</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">见乜就踢乜。阿婆好惊出事</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">所以佢又报警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">.</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">……</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">喂</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">呢度系咪鸠鸠鸠</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（呢度系咪</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">999?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">又是你呀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">你系咪玩野啊</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">今次又乜事呀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“呢度有个**仔</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（呢度有个自闭仔</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">你都几好艳福喎</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">成日都有呢嘀野睇</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">人地**又关你乜事</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“佢硬狗狗系度‘作’下‘作’下</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（佢憨鸠鸠系度‘佟跋隆百’下</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">打飞机紧是硬啦</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">咁又点呀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“仲有个人个度粗</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（仲有个人好暴躁</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“阿婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">‘装’人果度犯法喎</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">唔好“庄“啦</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">粗都同你冇关啦。乱及野因住生眼挑针啊！”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“果度粗嘅周围射野</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（好暴躁嘅周围踢野</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“咁你而家点</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">?</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“我好想**</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（我好想求救</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“阿婆你都几淫啊哈</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">几廿岁都谂埋</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">D</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">咁既野</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“你可唔可以教我</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（你可唔可以救我</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“我而家教唔到你喎</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">你行过去问下佢地</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“我惊佢射我块面</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（我惊佢踢我块面</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“你话你都几廿岁</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">,</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">叫佢就住唔好**罗</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　婆</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“我好想快</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">D</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">做</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（我好想快</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">D</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">走</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　警</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">:</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">“咁你慢慢享受啦</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　之后就收左线</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">!



</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">（五）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　话说个阿婆露宿天桥底，有个饮醉左酒嘅男人拎住支汽水岌岌拱咁走过黎，条友想开埋佢手上面樽野饮埋佢，但系又开极都开唔到，佢尝试用条颈链撬开个樽盖，点知条链都断埋，于是一怒之下一脚踢爆个盖，嘀汽水喷到周围都系，仲喷到个阿婆。之后个阿婆闹鬼个男人，个男人仲用粗口闹番个阿婆，之后走左去。个阿婆好激气，又走去报警。</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“喂，呢度系咪鸠鸠鸠呀？（呢度系咪</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">999</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">呀？）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“亚婆，你今次又想玩嘀乜花肾呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“有个男人叫鸡呀！（有个男人撬盖呀）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“男人叫鸡好平常嘅嗟。”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“但系个鸡无</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">HIGH</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">呀！（但系个盖无开呀）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“唔系挂？唔通只鸡系人妖？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“佢</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">HIGH</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">唔到，仲整烂左佢个</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">LIN</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">呀！（阿婆想话个男人开唔到仲整烂左条颈链）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“哇，条友都几暴力播，虽然系人妖令佢无高潮嗟，但系隆胸手术都几贵下，咁样整烂个</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">LIN</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">头又要花多几千蚊整过。”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“之后佢嬲得滞，一脚踢爆个鸡，嘀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">HIGH</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">水飞晒出黎，喷到我呀！（阿婆话条友踢</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">爆个盖搞到嘀汽水喷到佢）”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“只鸡系咪好伤呀？使唔使</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">CALL</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">白车呀？”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　阿婆：“我走埋去闹个男人，点知佢仲屌埋我呀！衣家仲走鬼左去。（阿婆其实系话，个男人用粗口「屌」佢）</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">　　差佬：“哇，呢个简直系人渣，阿婆都唔放过。好，我即刻派伙记去！”</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt;">

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摩天涯

笑到我喷血。。。[em04][em04][em04][em04][em04]

老吹

朋友,语音版在N年前都已经出了啦........还搞这篇字来...你太落后了

樂樂

[em04]都幾回味..
以前聽過D人講..